1) The Lasagna Method of Dishwashing - A.K.A. The Layering Effect, which is, of course, a layer of dishes, then soap, then another layer of dish, then another few squiggles of soap. It doesn't actually clean the dishes, but all the required elements are there. Just add water, and you're done!

2) UTILITIES, UTILITIES, UTILITIES - Without long distance phone, the Internet, and cable, I'd be a raving lunatic, walking the streets in nothing but my felt slippers and a tiara.

3) The Level Was Invented Post World War II - I have yet to encounter a level floor. They all slope this way and that. My daily walk on the shoulder of Highway #7 is the most level plain my feet encounter.

4) Handheld Shower Heads are Fun - But we already knew that, didn't we?

5) Bean Sprouts are Only $0.30 a Package - And last just about as long. Sadly, it is the most exotic produce in our grocery store.

6) I DO Live in Grecoville, Sorta - Yup, there is a Greco here (though rumour has it it's not a 'real' Greco. I have yet to become desparate enough to try it out), but it doesn't deliver. Who ever heard of a Greco that doesn't deliver?

7) I Live for American Idol - I never used to watch American Idol, but it's the highlight of my week now. There's something about laughing at other people that makes me feel better about my life.

8) There are No Ghosts in My House - or, if there are, they don't care what I do. They don't seem to disapprove of any of the naughty stuff I do, which is nice.

9) I'm a Damn Good Cook - Yeah, that's right. I've discovered that vegetables take a long time to prepare, and that I cannot, no matter how well intentioned I am, eat a whole bag of spinash before it goes limp and weird.

10) And Finally.... - I know I need to be here, but I'd give my right tit to be home.